Category Archives: Eavesdropped!

Quotable quotes, quips or other words of wisdom, wit or irony, heard or uttered

Tax quotes for Tax time

It’s that time of the year again. I dislike this time of the year for just one reason — the amount of hassle and time involved in pulling together papers for taxes. It’s worse when you have multiple entities to deal with. I once asked an accountant why the US tax system is so screwed up. His response was beautiful: “Job security.” The odds that the tax system here will ever be simplified is so remote that hell will freeze over first.

I received the following quotes in an email from my personal tax accountant, Buzz Rose from B. Rose CPA. I enjoyed reading them, and so figured they would be worth sharing here (with Buzz’s permission of course):

“Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, let’s say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.”
Jay Leno

“The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”
Mark Twain

“The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
Will Rogers

“Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it’s just hard to get through. That’s progress.”
Charles Rossotti (former IRS Commissioner)

” A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”
G. Gordon Liddy

“Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids.”
Harvey Mackay

“If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead – if you strike oil.”
J. Paul Getty

“If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.”
Fran Lebowitz

“The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.”
John Maynard Keynes

“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
Mick Jagger

“On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”
Tom Lehrer

” I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
Milton Berle

“The taxpayer – that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.”
Ronald Reagan

“The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.”
Barry Goldwater

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Eavesdropped!

“There are two types of not getting sleep. There is not getting sleep because there is a lot of work. The other is because you can’t sleep. I had a little of both.”

:Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase after their acquisition of Bear Stearns

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Eavesdropped!

“Have you ever known people who have to turn on a TV or a radio the moment they enter a room, or can’t stand to do work without some sound on? These are people who are desperately afraid of confronting some truth about themselves, so they try to drown it out with constant distractions.”

–MetaFilter user Pastabagel

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Eavesdropped!

V: ” when the mind knows- we call it knowledge. when the heart knows we call it love —-when the being knows , we call it spiritualism”
M: and when we don’t know, we call it ignorance. You can add that as my contribution 🙂

:sneaker, April 08, 2007

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